A dog has long been a man's best friend. Few women have a problem with that. But when The Field - the magazine devoted to the hunting, shooting, fishing fraternity - suggested 50 reasons why dogs are better than women, it started the paw wars.

• Spots are an attractive feature on a dog.
• A dog is better protection from intruders.
• Dogs enjoy ball games. But they don't spend six hours on the phone trying o get tickets for France 98.
• Dogs greet each other by sniffing bottoms. Men are far less polite.
• Puppy love doesn't wear off so quickly with a dog.
• You can be prosecuted for neglecting a dog.
• Dogs can find their way back home - even after a really heavy night out.
• Dogs can be trained not to lie on the bed. Men always lie in bed.
• A dog can moult without becoming obsessed about premature baldness.
• Dogs can be taught the meaning of the word "NO!"
• A dog is far less irritation to have in the back seat of a car...
• ...and will be less likely to show its rear end to the people in the vehicle behind for a laugh.
• Elizabeth Hurley has a faithful dog whom she loves dearly.
• If a dog says sausages, that's clever. If a man says sausages, that's just greedy.
• Dogs will wait patiently outside clothes shops...
• ...and not criticize your purchases afterwards.
• A dog will fetch the morning paper for you.
• A dog will trot faithfully round at your heel.
• Dogs don't break wind in public and blame it on the man.
• In the canine world, boxers are quite intelligent.
• If a dog gets ill, it won't take eighteen Panadols in order to avoid having to go to the vet.
• You can also ask the vet to perform the snip, even if the dog objects.
• Small, ginger-haired dogs can be quite appealing. As for men? Two words. Robin Cook.
• You can find a nice dog by advertising on a card in a shop window, or in the classified section of the local paper.
• A woman can live with more than one dog, without rumours starting.
• When dogs beg, it's cute. When men beg it's pathetic.
• Dogs sometimes dig the garden.
• A dog can go out fox-hunting without being incredibly stuck up and pompous.
• Dogs don't necessarily prefer blondes.
• Dogs won't get embarrassed if you call them by a pet name when their friends are around.
• Dogs travel more cheaply on the bus.
• Dogs whine less.
• Some dogs can be quite talented at singing.
• Men lost the World Cup. A dog found it.
• Dogs are less reliant on tinned food...
• ...but after a few cans, a dog will still be able to stand up.
• And there are some things even a dog won't eat - like the remains of a three-day-old King Prawn vindaloo that they found on the floor behind the sofa.
• You can leave a dog alone in your house without worrying so much about what it'll break.
• A dog gets a new coat every winter.
• Dogs are not so careless about leaving puddles on the bathroom floor.
• A dog is less likely to leave a filthy, stinking mess for you to clear up.
• For a dog, a wet nose is a sign of GOOD health.
• Men are even less useful for testing cosmetics on.
• Dogs don't wolf-whistle.
• There are still thousands of totally undomesticated dogs in Australia; but far more undomesticated men.
• Your dog will never refer to you as 'a bitch'.
• In disaster films, the dog is always far more likely to have a miraculous escape.
• Dogs do not waste money betting on the dogs.
• You can stop dogs getting too randy by throwing a bucket or water over them.
• All the best clips on 'You've Been Framed' are the ones with dogs in.
• If a dog starts worrying sheep, that's just its natural predatory instinct.
• If a MAN starts worrying sheep, however...
• A 'King Charles' is much more likely to be a big, floppy-eared dog than a big floppy-eared man.
• You can also call a dog schitzu without offending it.
• "Working like a dog" is strenuous. Working like a man is, er - not.
• You can fondle your dog in the park without being arrested.
• A dog will encourage you to lose weight by taking more exercise. A man will just remark on how big your bum looks.
• Dogs do not attack other dogs for being a different colour.
• Having a dog around the place can actually ease stress.
• You'd feel guilty about turning a dog out on the street.
• A dog can take a barrel of brandy to a lost mountaineer without drinking ANY.
• There aren't so many good reasons to keep a dog muzzled in public.
• You can buy a dog's affection with a squeaky toy.
• A dog will be eager to walk, rather than getting a taxi.
• Most dogs are really good with children.
• Dogs have a highly-developed sense of smell. Men, on the other hand, can quite happily wear the same pair of pants for a fortnight.
• A dog is more useful for tracking down criminals.
• Who did YOU miss most from Blue Peter - John Noakes or Shep?
• A dog might actually take a bath of its own accord.
• There's more chance of your dog being able to operate the video recorder.
• You can buy a choke-chain for a dog.
• A 16-year-old dog is very mature.
• A dog is easier to keep well-groomed.
• Dogs have more chance of receiving an award for bravery.
• Dogs are easier to house-train.
• Dog do not scratch themselves so much in polite company.
• A dog can look as though it understands what you're saying.
• Dogs went into space first.
• A man will roll over and play dead only if you ask him to get up and make coffee.
• Dogs enjoy swimming, and not for the chance to ogle girls in bikinis.
• Being a dog's mistress is no reason to feel ashamed.
• You can keep your dog tied up if it starts misbehaving.
• Saggy skin and a hang-dog look aren't half as appealing on a man.
• You can train a dog in obedience.
• A dog in a studded collar isn't kinky.
• Few men would answer to 'Lassie'.
• A dog is a pack animal. A man is a six-pack animal.
• Dogs spend the day sniffing drugs only if they're with the police.
• Dogs aren't obsessed with 'doing it man-fashion'.
• A dog is a faithful companion.
• A dog is for life.